Halloween Themed Playlist

•October 24, 2009 • 4 Comments

In no particular order:

1. Trioxin / Zombies! Organize!
2. Necromancing / Gnarls Barkley
3. Crash My Car / Supra Argo
4. Wandering Ghosts / Michiru Yamana
5. Boogie Woogie Wu / Insane Clown Posse
6. Hometown / Akira Yamaoka
7. Blood Red Sandman / Lordi
8. Burrow Your Way to My Heart / Darkest of the Hillside Thickets
9. Living Dead Girl / Rob Zombie
10. Life Burns / Apocalyptica (feat. Lauri Ylonen)
11. Transylvanian Concubine / Rasputina
12. Run Down the Devil / Alice Cooper
13. Prey / Seraphim Shock

I could come up with more, probably (okay, definitely), but 13 seems like an appropriate number of tracks, eh?

Feel free to suggest your own Halloween tunes!>

homeward bound

•October 21, 2009 • Leave a Comment

a band of men in line at a police station. they are strangely dressed, anachronistic, in leathers and fur and scraps of mail. I stand with them, fingering a talisman on a thong around my neck, whispering a prayer to the Horned Lord to lead us home, to save us from this strange land and its noise and smoke and impossible towers.

and then, He is there, walking among us. we turn as one to follow him, as the walls of the police station fade behind us. we know better than to pay too close attention to what surrounds the Straight Tracks by which our god leads us- those few who have braved a glimpse of the dimensions between have gone mad or worse, although after what we have been through we may all be a little mad.

then, suddenly, the Horned Lord pauses. and just as suddenly, we all feel a great, crushing lethargy sweep through us. even the wild god sinks to one knee as behind him our motley band collapses where they stand, unable to move so much as a finger or utter a single moan of despair. around us lies a barren plain pocked by craters and fissures, uninhabited save for two great woolly mammoths. one is white as driven snow, the other black as basalt. from across the plain they charge at one another, their trumpeting roars echoing across the desolation. they crash together and the white behemoth throws the black one to the ground, which shudders beneath us.

a storm-tossed sea rises about us, crashing waves and whirling clouds, spears of light forking between them. vast terror grips my heart, but I can barely draw breath to cry out, so powerful is the sapping effect that crushes us. through this elemental violence, two monsters swim- plesiosaurs, though I knew not to name them at the time. their fins churned the water, leaving whirlpools in their wake as their ponderous jaws swung to and fro at the end of impossibly long, muscled necks. they tore great ragged chunks from one another, blood pouring from their wounds to stain the frothing wave-caps red.

with no small effort of will, I looked to the Horned Lord, who watched the battle of the titanic creatures with an intensity I could not fathom. by some intuition, I realized that the white beast, as before, represented his will, locked in combat with some dark force that threatened to overwhelm us all. even as this thought came to me, I saw the white sea-dragon lock its jaws just behind the head of the black, and the sound of that bone-crushing bite was audible even above the twin thunders of the waves and sky.

we sank beneath the waves now, into the trackless depths, and although I thought myself at the limits of fear, the ice that now enveloped my heart was greater still. deeper and deeper we sank until no light penetrated and no surface nor bottom was visible. through this silent blackness swam two whales of such magnitude that they could have swallowed whole the sky-scraping towers of that strange land we had thought to be rescued from. one white, one black, these leviathans moved with terrifying grace for all their size, ramming into one another with no weapon but their huge blunt noses. somehow this was more awful to behold than the creatures armed with nature’s weapons, as over and over again the whale-monsters circled us and came together in the nightmarish silence beneath the waves. I poured all my will toward our ghost-pale champion, manifestation of the will of the wild god whom we called our protector. I had no illusion that my small and faltering courage would tip the scales of this battle one way or another, but what else could I do?

Dan Savage- Dealing With Horrible Things, So You Don’t Have To.

•October 20, 2009 • 2 Comments

ambitions

•October 18, 2009 • Leave a Comment

a young ambitious priest, dreams of power and influence.

hours of research leads him to his church’s relic- the fingerbone of a saint known for signs and miracles. machinations and bribes secure him the hiding place of this artifact, which he steals and fashions into a pendant, which he wears on a thong around his neck, next to his skin.

at night the saint whispers to him in his dreams. every night… and sometimes during the day. but the voice is faint, and the secrets tantalizing but vague.

the first time he swallows it, he pounds it with a mortar and pestle into a fine powder and mixes it with holy water. the next day it passes from his bowels- once more intact.
after that he simply snatches it from his bedpan each morning and swallows it whole. he no longer needs any other sustenance. and the saint now appears to him in visions, with promises and premonitions.

finally, he straps his left arm down to a board and grips a thick strip of leather between his teeth as he flays open his hand, resurrectionists anatomical diagrams on the table beside him. with infinite care he prises loose the bone from his finger and replaces it with that of his otherworldly guide. before he can even reach for the needle and thread to sew up the mess he’s made of his flesh, the pain rolls his eyes back in his head and he collapses into darkness.

the following morning he wakes to bloodstained frock, tools, and table, but his arm is flawless and whole. the saint is with him now- they are one.

he smiles, and goes out to greet the new day.

caretaking

•October 18, 2009 • Leave a Comment

helping to take care of a little girl who may have been part or full alien

foster family raising her engaged in sexual activity with her, which she seemed to enjoy. they claim she is some kind of messiah. are they one of those cultish religious sects? or the beginnings of one.

we are in court, I am trying to get her away from them. she is no messiah. she is extremely sensitive to vibrations, not supernaturally, but in the manner of autistic children whose senses are overpoweringly focused. she can feel the heartbeats of those around her. she can sense moods, and was a kind and compassionate child.

old men at store. they doted on each other.

later a compound surrounded by a mesh fence.
we were trained to keep outsiders out. we were told they were aliens, or zombies, monsters. we armed ourselves with spray cans and lighters. as we set upon the first group trying to get in and lit them ablaze, it became apparent that they were just other people, trying to get to a safe and warm place.

Olaf Stapledon’s Last and First Men

•September 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Last and First Men Last and First Men by Olaf Stapledon

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Man, oh man. It’s been a long time since I had to renew a library book because I wasn’t done reading it. I have to admit, this was a slog. Olaf Stapledon has an incredible imagination. His works inspired many of the great names and most enduring concepts in SF (Dyson spheres and racial overminds, for example). He’s an unending font of insightful observation, interesting speculation, and far flung extrapolation.

He is not, however, a masterful writer. His prose soars at times, and I found myself jotting down notes for things I wanted to refer back to, because they sparked my imagination or offered unique and unapologetic insight into human nature. But in between these lofty peaks are long, dry valleys where I had to force myself to continue.

Some day, perhaps, I will read the sequel, Last Men in London. I think, nay, I hope, it is told on a more personal scope, and may therefore be a bit more approachable. But for now, I think, Mr. Stapledon and I will be taking a vacation from one another. At least for a while.

View all my reviews >>

I, For One, Welcome Our New Robot Overlords…

•September 15, 2009 • 1 Comment

Bishop will be doing his knife trick before you know it.

And then, can 8-Man be far behind?

The Dark Cristal

•September 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

(stolen with thanks from Glyphpress)

Flashbacks

•September 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Back in grade school, but taking college level classes. Found Dwayne and I had a class together- “Game Design 101: Introduction to Games and Gaming”, taught by none other than Brennan Taylor of IPR. The seats were too small for my adult body, which was annoying, but I squeezed myself in. Prof. Taylor was in the middle of the classroom sitting crosslegged at a very low table that was covered with a smattering of toys and games- Legos (Mechaton, woot!), HeroScape, Warhammer Minis, who knows what else. Once the class got started, however, he put on a movie on a widescreen tv. It was very disturbing, but I don’t remember what it was about.

Later I went out to dinner with an AI. It checked my email for me while we ate. There was some important reason, but I don’t remember that either.

Then I was in an unfamiliar bathroom in someone’s home, and there was a HEWJ knobby knee’d spider. I found a can of Lysol or something and sprayed it. It tried to flee under the door but couldn’t quite fit, so it ran back toward a box of… something, I’m not sure what. The box featured a smiling woman on it- some kind of household product. The spider climbed onto the box and the woman on the box reacted to it by looking upward at it in alarm. She picked up the box (don’t ask me how that worked) and carried it- with herself still on it- to the trash can and pulled the box down into it. Apparently the trash can was over a faucet, because I then turned the faucet on to make sure the spider was not coming back.

*

On another night, it was the future, and there was this guy who claimed to be the Second Coming of Christ. He dressed in robes like Jesus in a play, and for some reason much of the world bought into it. He practiced ovomancy, reading countless dozens of eggs and doomsaying. I was, for some reason, on his staff, but the crazier he got and the more doom he portended, the more skeptical I became.

There was a town meeting at the public library to discuss what to do about these prophecies. I went there, but they were only letting loyalists in, and somehow they knew I was no longer one of them. I flashed my staff badge and started to bullshit my way in.

Later, I was with a doctor of some kind. I had procured a sample of one of these prophetic eggs, and he was going to run tests on it. My stepfather was there for some reason, and admonished me for my lack of faith.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

•September 9, 2009 • 4 Comments

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Harry Potter, #1)

Not bad. I still think Dumbledore is clearly biased towards Gryffindor in general, and towards Harry specifically, to a degree that is both unfair and unbecoming. We get a little more insight into Snape’s deal than in the movie… or at least I don’t remember it from the movie, maybe it was in there. He’s kind of the most interesting character to me, and I felt he got very unfairly treated by the most recent movie… the book version was probably better, but I doubt I’ll read them all to find out. I’ve heard the 7th book was crap, which makes me not want to get into the series at all.

Also, the wizard world, while exciting to juvenile-me, is totally unworkable to adult-me. If magic works, there’s no way it’s not a part of EVERYBODY’s everyday life. Humans use what tools are available to them, it’s our nature. Also, these powerful wizards have a responsibility to solve the greater problems of the world, rather than futzing around in their towers waving their wands and pretending they have real problems.

Also, if Harry & company got through the gauntlet of spells at Hogwarts as easily as they did, they wouldn’t have posed any kind of obstacle to a real wizard.

And finally, if House Slytherin produces all the dark wizards… SHUT IT DOWN ALREADY, YOU MORONS! Or at least have more careful monitoring or SOMETHING.

Personally, I prefer magic systems that are well thought out and internally consistent rather than magic-as-plot-device. When magic can do whatever you need it to do at any given moment, it’s really difficult to maintain any kind of suspension of disbelief. Like, if there are cloaks of invisibility, then the school would have Invisibility Detectors around important rooms, etc.

I’ve said this before, and it bears repeating: In a world where magic works, MAGIC IS TECHNOLOGY; and like any technology, is subject to market forces.

Detachable Penii…

•September 8, 2009 • 5 Comments

I had a dream about aliens (or future humans?) whose genitalia are actually separate creatures that can detach and maybe even move around on their own. People have no gender when they are not symbiotically linked with a gender-entity. Very strange, but I don’t remember anything else about it.

Chicago Pillow Fight Club: Under New Management

•September 7, 2009 • 1 Comment

I have somehow fallen into the position of organizing the Chicago Pillow Fight Club, the main event of which is the local staging of World Pillow Fight Day in April.

I have inherited MySpace and Facebook and all manner of crazy web 2.0 crap that I know nothing about because I am old and behind the times.

What have I gotten myself into?

SMB Cola FTW.

•September 4, 2009 • 1 Comment

fail-owned-soda-display-win
see more Fail Blog

You will soon have your God, and you will make it with your own hands.

•September 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Morpheus: You are a planned organism. The offspring of knowledge and imagination, rather than individuals.

J.C.: I’m engineered. So what? My brother and I suspected as much while we were growing up.

Morpheus: You are carefully watched by many people. The unplanned organism is a question, asked by Nature, and answered by death. You are another kind of question, with another kind of answer.

This game continues to be engaging, literate, and thought provoking.

80s Cartoon Lovefest!

•August 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I loved the intro music to this show. Also, Wheels & Roady were the bomb. And they appear in that video for that Black Kids tune!

This one also has compelling theme music. I think that’s a common denominator of a lot of my favorite shows from back then. Also, a pirate ship that could fly through space, a giant psionic goldfish, and plant monsters that grew from seed to biomechanical death-dealers in minutes. C’mon, what other setting has vegeborgs??

And of course, the ultimate:

Man, that theme still gets my blood pumping every time I hear it.

Mr. Deity and the Magic

•August 25, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Penn Jillette works for Lucifer. He admitted it.

Moar Fail.

•August 24, 2009 • 2 Comments

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Yeeeah, no thanks.

I Can Haz Fail?

•August 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

I’ve had this hanging around for a while, so I thought I’d send it to the experts.

The One Thousand and Second Night

•August 23, 2009 • 2 Comments

Played 1,001 Nights at CSE’s place in the city last night. Went reasonably well. At least, nobody complained.

Came home to restless sleep and a rightfully miffed tummy- I had abused it so.

Dreamt of playing the game again, but in a space station, a not at all inappropriate variation on the theme. Then I dreamt I was at a Halloween themed concert (or at least the people on stage were in costumes). As the first song was just getting under way, there was a commotion at the back of the stage, and the drummer was suddenly face down, being handcuffed by policemen. The frontman, wearing a suit-and-tails and a full-head skull mask with top hat, stepped to the mic and quipped “Folks, that’s what you call ‘authenticity’.”, referring, I suppose, to the reputation of rock musicians as outlaws and rebels. I think that band decided to wait until things had been straightened out to continue their set, and yielded the stage (which was actually a pit surrounded by risers, like an amphitheater) to the next band, which, after a brief scuffle in the audience over the change of plans, started playing a dead-on rendition of Pretend We’re Dead. It may very well have been L7 themselves, but I was moving through the crowd at this point and could no longer see the stage.

Now I am thinking about a city where the living and the dead share the space- the living by day and the dead by night. Their homes and businesses would be mostly separate, with the exception of the ones which required the cooperation of both. An ancient but uneasy truce between two peoples whose mutual destruction would elsewise be assured.

Until, of course, a stranger comes to the city.

Scientists are stupid.

•August 20, 2009 • 10 Comments

They are building an Evil Artificial Intelligence… ON PURPOSE.

Seriously, haven’t these guys seen Terminator? Or 2001? Or ???

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!