Dear Mr. J. M. Lapeyre, Your stairs suck. Sincerely, Me.

I only encounter these things rarely, but when I do, I always end up cursing up a storm.
Lapeyre alternating tread stair

According to the website, these things are supposedly safer and easier to use.

This, I can tell you from much experience, is a HUGE PILE OF SHITE.

These things are a GARGANTUAN pain in the ass to negotiate.

Guess what, Mr. Lapeyre? I’ve been going up and down steps since I was a little kid! I’m pretty damn good at it. I don’t want to have to completely reconfigure my kinaesthetics so I can get onto a roof, or down from one, without falling and breaking every fucking bone in my body. Especially if I’m carrying a box. And if I’m carrying several boxes? Fuggeddaboudit.

They apparently think this is a super-clever invention. It is not. It is a travesty. Just give me a goddamn stair, or a goddamn ladder if you want to save space. A ladder or scuttle takes up EVEN LESS SPACE than your precious space-saving “innovation”.

I swear, these things give me such a headache, that I wish I could go back in time and club J.M. in the head until he forgot all about his clever idea.

The world would just have to do without the mechanical shrimp-peeler.

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~ by oberon the fool on March 24, 2009.

2 Responses to “Dear Mr. J. M. Lapeyre, Your stairs suck. Sincerely, Me.”

  1. Bizarre. Then again, you can always learn to carry your boxes on your head and wear gauzy pants and dance with bells on your ankles. And Bek could pierce your nose. And you could adopt a castrated tiger. And paste a ruby in your navel. And, and, and…

  2. Bad design. Very hard to climb. Cant really stop, turn around and go back down. One big problem is theyre NOT ergonomic at all. They make your rt and lft feet too far apart, in a sideways direction, that is. Your feet actually should hit the steps only a little to rt or lft of center of travel. With lapeyre , theres this wasted effort. Not, i repeat, not ergonomic. If theres anyone who can say they actually like these, lets hear it. Architects who spec these should try using one first. These are marketed to archs who have egos and want to do cool bldgs. Well, just try them.

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