He always told his mom he would make it big…

Check your seismograph, ‘cuz here I come.
If political power comes from the barrel of a gun,
then I should rule the world. Simple, really;
twenty-five stories up, who’s gonna mess with me?
Plus, my joystick skills are silly,
so armor-piercing rounds never hit me.
Who shot down Flight 93?
Yeah, that was me,
I fight terrorism when my time is free.
I dealt Amuro Rey his first defeat.
Nina Purpleton lied, I designed Gundam GP02 and GP03;
I just thought she was cute, so I let her keep the royalties.
My mecha is the President’s system for missile defense.
Nuclear engineers are all my best friends,
never mind what the gas mileage is.
Giant robot overcompensating for my undersized paycheck,
see me on TV with New Type on my chest.

I always told my mom I would make it big; yeah, I’m still not, but my robot is!

It’s unbelievable! You wanna see the full scope of the mechanism, ‘cuz you got skepticism; but I promise, ain’t no kinda magic involved. Gear to the piston, problem solved. An automaton walking, strides like a city block; Shoulder pops up: missile flock! It’s a lock, patterned at the target I choose; clouds on impact- mushrooms! Jets that zoom and tank treads rollin’, these gnats and ants can’t disrupt the strollin’. Pollin’ the citizens, “You want me to stop?” City hall’s still standing- “Thanks, robot!” Flanks so taut with titanium muscle, giant lizard wanna jostle? Let’s tussle! Thrust you back into the ocean, buh-bye! Rocket fist flips its middle digit up high!

Ha ha ha! I will land on the far side of town, where the heroes cannot stop me, for they do not know how to get here!

(But when the smoke clears…)

Here I stand in the middle of your city street,
warning sirens keepin’ pedestrians up off of my feet.
Voltron on vacation, but there’s a robeast?
Beam-rifle sniper, one-shot kills only.
See the future with the Zero System so no trap can hold me,
plus I’ve got nuclear bazookas for fighting whole armies.
I’ll be a legend by the time we have space colonies,
shouting “Sieg Zeon!” way back in 0073;
a throwback like the Zaku and the Tallgeese.
Megazord is my sparring partner, so look what he taught me-
show up out of nowhere to save the day? That’s all me!

I always told my mom I would make it big, well, I’m still not, but my robot is!

Whoremoans / Mecha Mechanics


~ by oberon the fool on April 21, 2009.

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