Star Trek

So. Star Trek.

It’s pretty good. I have some gripes, though.

Spoiler alert, obviously.

1) We already have perfectly good Ceti Eels for mind control purposes. Why come up with a different bug-in-the-head plot device that’s obviously the same thing? Also, I’d like to point out for those who failed Basic Anatomy, that while the ear canal does lead more or less directly into the cranial cavity, the mouth does not. At least not in humans, maybe Romulan physiology differs.

2) The whole point of Sulu being a fencer was that it was not an Eastern martial art. So giving him a magic extendo-katana was stupid. Ok, so Kendo is technically also fencing, but fuck that. The character of Sulu was specifically intended to break Asian stereotypes. Sulu studied fucking Capo Ferro and Agrippa, goddammit. Rapier, not katana. As a fan of Western Martial Arts, this pissed me off more than some of the more egregious flaws I’ll be getting to below.

3) Too Many Aliens. I was waiting for the Cantina theme to start playing at any moment. The obligatory green chick looked like a bad special effect in a student production. The nurse that delivers Jim Kirk is clearly scaring Mrs. Kirk into labor with those terrifyingly huge eyes. And what the hell is up with Scotty’s little pet Morel mushroom? Is that gonna be a standard feature on the Engineering deck now? Why?

4) A heat drill of that magnitude would boil off the atmosphere of a planet long before reaching its core. Punching that big a hole through the crust of a planet would probably be enough to end life on that world even without planting a singularity into it. And finally, creating a singularity anywhere NEAR a planet would finish it off.

5) No strong female characters. Uhura was some kind of linguistics genius, but we never see her in action, except as Spock’s arm-candy. Giving her a noncombat specialty is fine, but at least show her kicking ass at it, will ya?

6) Red Matter = Plotdevicium. To expand, there was no actual science in this fiction. Even the science wasn’t sciency. Maybe next time, eh?

7) Spock’s ship was the stupidest looking spacegoing vessel ever, in any science fiction anything.

Other than those things, it was pretty entertaining, and I enjoyed it. When they do another one, I’ll probably see it.


~ by oberon the fool on May 17, 2009.

2 Responses to “Star Trek

  1. I can’t recall whether there were many strong female characters in the original Star Trek series. My guess is…no? Simply because Kirk is always getting it on with people. I agree the green woman was just ridiculous (maybe she did one of those spray, er…tan/green things and it just came out badly?). Uhura did intercept a message that was important to verifying Kirk’s theory about the Romulans, but you’re right about her just being eye/arm candy for Spock – unfortunate. She was way more fun when she was busting Kirk’s balls.

    I still have no idea what red matter is. And I really want to know. Although, obviously not enough to just Google it. Because I haven’t. Yet.

  2. No, there really weren’t. Which is kind of the point- it’s been decades, it’s time to ‘reboot’ some of the cultural stereotypes and bring them up to date. New-Uhura started out promisingly, but finished lame. Granted, there will be more movies, and more chances for her to show her mettle in ways that don’t involve being emotionally supportive to Spock. We’ll just have to see.

    Red Matter is, as I noted, what is commonly known as “plotdevicium”. You can look that up.

    Plotdevicium is also often referred to as “applied phlebotinum”.

    And given that Red Matter is, literally, a bloodlike red liquid, it’s entirely possible that it was put in as a conscious play on the term “phlebotinum”, which would, if it were a real word, basically mean “blood-stuff”.

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